Clara backed up against the console, leaning back slightly on her hands. “What will UNIT do with the ghosts?”
The Doctor walked toward her as he explained the technicalities but she was only half listening. He stopped in front of her, briefly before starting to step to the side. She grabbed him by the hand and pulled him back toward her. She felt him hesitate slightly but give in. They stood nearly toe to toe, the fingers of their joined hands entwined.
“I thought I’d lost you, today.” Clara swallowed hard around the lump that had risen in her throat.
“Yeah, that seems to be going ‘round, lately.” His eyes flicked away and then back to her face. “Good thing I’ve got a time machine or we’d be in real trouble.
Clara shook her head, smiling fondly up at him. “Yeah, otherwise it’s just a lark.”
He gave her that shy, toothy grin that he’d been giving a lot more lately. “Piece of cake.”
They stared at one another for a long moment, the silence filled with secrets. Clara’s lips felt ready to burst from holding the words back. In a panic, she had begged for him to love her enough to return to her. And he had. But was it just because The Doctor always returned? Or had it really been for her? Did he even feel love the way that she did? Did his hearts pound near to splitting open his chest when she was close?
No, he wasn’t her boyfriend. She’d loved and lost one of those, already.
The Doctor was so much more. He was the ever expanding Universe, infinite in his way and just as unknowable. He would outlive her by centuries, his name scattered across the stars as her faded to dust and nothingness. She’d dispersed herself throughout his lifetimes but in essence, she was still small and human and fragile. So easily broken or lost. How could she even expect him to love her in such a small and human way?