Every time I do something I think of what he would say –well, it's cold today, wear a scarf.
But lately I've been forgetting little things. It's sort of fading and I'm losing him again. So sometimes I make myself remember every detail of his face.The exact color of his eyes, his lips, his teeth, the texture of his skin, his hair. That was all gone by the time he went. And sometimes …not always, but sometimes, I can actually see him. It's as if a cloud moves away and there he is. And I could almost touch him. But then…the real world rushes in .And he vanishes again.
For a while, I did this every morning, when the sun was not too bright outside. But the sun somehow makes him vanish.And he appears and he disappears, like a sunraise and a sunset, anything, so ephemeral.