Apart from that time that they hadn't.
She felt as if suddenly all the blood had been drained from her head and the diner was spinning around her. Reaching for the door frame she quickly found her balance again but the thought in her head remained. What if she was pregnant? What if something had gone wrong? What if that one time had been enough? What if Carlene was right and John really didn't want children? And, come to think of it, she actually was late. That alone wasn't proof of anything. Her cycle had been going haywire for years and she was used to that by now but what if. What if. She had been sick this morning, she had been feeling off on several mornings the week before. Oh God, what if she actually was pregnant.
“Clara, are you sure you're okay?” Carlene asked but Clara hardly heard her.
Should she go over to the garage and tell John right now? No, Clara should see a doctor first. Maybe she was freaking out over nothing at all. And if he really didn't want children and she really was pregnant – would he leave her? Her fear of losing him immediately kicked in again but Clara decided to just take a deep breath. It was John. He wouldn't leave her, even if she was pregnant of which she wasn't even sure yet.
“Clara?”
“What if I am?” she asked her colleague in horror.
“What if you are what?”
“Pregnant! What do I do? You have kids, Carlene. Tell me, what do I do?”
Carlene gave a weary sigh. “Rule number one – don't freak out. I'll give you the number of my doctor and you can call him,” her voice took on a much softer tone, “You'll be fine, Clara. Whatever happens.”
After Carlene had written down the number Clara had excused herself to the back of the diner to make the phone call from the office. She got an appointment for Wednesday. Two whole days of waiting were lying ahead of her, two whole days on which she couldn't tell John. It was going to be a nightmare but Clara decided to go through with it. If he didn't want children and she turned out to be not pregnant she'd have troubled him for no reason at all. And if he did want children an she turned out to be not pregnant she was running the risk of giving him hope for something that might never happen.
The more time passed between the phone call and the end of her shift the surer Clara became that she wasn't actually pregnant at all. She was probably really coming down with something, the flu or a cold and she remembered a conversation from years back. When she had been with Daniel they had rarely used protection at all, mainly because neither of them would have minded children but also because the doctors had told her that because of her irregular cycle Clara would have problems conceiving, if it was possible for her at all. No, she couldn't be pregnant.