Words. We should leave it at words, one of them ought to say, always imagined saying. The relief of it feels mythical. Atlas no longer obliged to carry the heavens. Somewhere above, a gargoyle is blushing.
“Oh, Christ.” She breathes a laugh. The inappropriateness is not lost on her. They’ve caught the attention of the parishioners. Hesitant glances drift their way.
“What is it?” he asks.
“I was hoping you’d be bad at this.”
“Bad?”
“Such a disappointment.” She grins easily. “I quite enjoyed that.”
He makes a face. “I was hoping you’d be better.”
“Me?”
“I think my gran could do better.”
“Do you often think about your own gran when you’re kissing people?”
“Would you rather I think about your gran?”
Her face falls, and she sees the panic surge within him.
“Clara,” he says, “I would never actually think about your gran—”
“It’s just that my gran thinks I’m dead.”
This is a dull and sad realization spoken out loud. Nothing that she expects to be corrected.
His embarrassment recalibrates into a mounting guilt, even if this specific thing is actually not his fault. In fact, it is well within his purview to correct. He pulls her in the direction of the TARDIS, which has remained a Depression era Ford. Some chickens have found their way into the backseat. A spacetime customs violation in waiting.
“What are you doing?” she asks.
“We’re paying your gran a visit. Your dad too,” he says. “We should let Rigsy know. We can leave a message with the baby if he’s not home.” He stops when he sees her reaction. She’s not as enthused as he thought she’d be. “Right, right. Rigsy doesn’t speak baby, does he? He really should learn now that he’s living with one.”
“Time travellers should never visit their own graves.” There are only so many times they can get away with not destroying the universe.
“There’s no grave, Clara.” His face hovers close to hers, the requisite proximity to shut out the world, as close as when they first laid eyes on each other. “Not if I can help it.”
Somebody spills a can of New Coke on the telepathic interface, and they’re hurled into Blackpool of the 1980s. The sky and sea are shrouded in soft striated hues of orange, pink, and blue, making the Pleasure Beach resemble a nursery, an early morning reprieve from the dreary mood of Thatcherite Britain.
Near the pier, in the backseat of an old American car, she wraps her legs tightly around his waist after pulling him down by the lapels, mouth and tongue greeting his own. They’re rule breaking. Not just The One. He never sits with his back to a door, along with stopping his breath when meeting strangers, a pregnant pause to listen for an extra heart.
Her hand slips between their bodies to undo his trousers. He hisses slightly at her coldness. This is something he’d been consciously aiming not to do, and he feels an immediate frustration with himself for not succeeding.
“Sorry,” she says and moves her hand away.
He grabs it with determination and kisses every bit of skin, its lines and turns, the chemical energy it contains. Again and again and again.