Now, when a girl told a friend about a problem, the friend responded by asking probing questions and expressing agreement and understanding. But the boys dismissed each other’s problems. Todd assured Richard that his drinking was “no big problem” because “sometimes you’re funny when you’re off your butt.” And when Todd said he felt left out, Richard responded, “Why should you? You know more people than me.”Women perceive such responses as belittling and unsupportive. But the boys seemed satisfied with them. Whereas women reassure each other by implying, “You shouldn’t feel bad because I’ve had similar experiences,” men do so by implying, “You shouldn’t feel bad because your problems aren’t so bad.”