John was about to open his mouth and speak when the doorbell interrupted him. Donna jumped up happily.
“That will be my taxi,” she said and grabbed her purse from the coffee table, “Hope you two have a nice weekend. See you before I leave?”
He growled at her, but Clara politely wished her a safe journey and fun at the wedding, smiling. As soon as Donna was out of the door, he turned around to face Clara.
“I'm so sorry. I need to apologize for my sister,” he said earnestly.
Clara laughed in reply. “No need. Your sister is really sweet.”
“She is, but the bedroom-”
“I know what she is trying to do, John,” she confirmed, still smiling, “Don't worry about it.”
“That doesn't bother you?” he asked in surprise.
“Well, she can try all she wants. In the end it's our decision, isn't it?”
“I guess you're right.”
“I don't mind sharing a bed,” Clara continued, “And I meant it. If you snore, I'll kick you out. I know no mercy when it comes to that.”
Clara smiled at him and John started to laugh under her gaze. “Okay, that seems like a fair deal,” he paused, “So, what do you wanna do tonight? It's a bit late to go and start investigating. Do you want to go out for dinner?”
“Actually,” she began, “Can we just order pizza and stay inside? I don't really fancy going out tonight.”
“Fine by me,” John shrugged. It was a lie. If he was honest he wanted to spend as little time in this house as possible, but he saw Clara yawning again and his own personal feelings suddenly didn't feel so important anymore.
While Clara went to change into more comfortable clothes, John ordered pizza for both of them and then settled down on the pillows in front of the TV, trying to occupy himself with the news until Clara came back in her pyjamas.
“When did they say that the pizza will be here?” she asked as she sat down next to him, “I'm starving.”
“Uhm, 20 minutes. Can you hold out that long?”
Clara laughed. “Of course I can,” she paused, eyeing him for a moment, “So, how are you feeling?”
“Good,” John lied, busying himself by browsing through one of the furniture catalogues.
“Okay, and how are you really feeling?”
One look at Clara's face told him that she couldn't be tricked so easily. He sighed and gave up trying.
“I stayed here, in this house when I was released from prison. I was glad that my sister took me in but there are still some memories here that I'd like to forget. The first few weeks weren't exactly nice.”
“You never told me what it was like, being in prison that long without really knowing what you've done wrong,” Clara noticed, keeping her voice low as if there was someone else around that could overhear them.
“We had psychologists and social workers to help us cope, help us understand. Prison isn't being locked in your room for 25 years. They give you things to do according to your talents. If you behaved you could watch a movie in the evenings. I read a lot in my spare time, listened to a lot of music. I was allowed to leave the prison for my parents' funerals. That was the thing that felt most. . . surreal. I had gotten used to it by that time and suddenly stepping outside the fence with your guards behind your back felt really wrong.”
“And when you were released?” Clara asked carefully.
John considered it for a moment. “At first it felt like I never left, like I had just exchanged one prison for another. I used to get nightmares, thinking I was still in my cell, thinking the air was running out and the walls were coming closer. But Donna helped me, and so did the social workers. It got a lot better when I moved to London. Bigger house, fresh start,” John explained, shrugging.
When he turned his face towards Clara he saw her looking at him through sad eyes, like she would just love to take that weight off him if she only could. He reached for her hand.
“I'm better now,” he told her, “It's just the memories of this place.”
“Will you be okay when we go back to where it happened?”
John nodded, smiling kindly. “Yes. You'll be there to protect me, won'